She neared the tiny platform, took a deep breath. Was that little square plate going to be cruel or kind. She had given her all and she was determined.

One toe tentative nudged the platform and it sprang to life. Another deep breath and one foot followed by the other she steps up. Eyes move downwards as the numbers change......... What will be her fate???

I'm sure that anyone who has struggled with their weight has waited with baited breath for the scales to reveal that dreaded number. I faced the scales again Thursday. Just before my training session I jumped on wondering if I had managed to maintain the great result I had the day before. I looked down and.... No.... It was even better!! (I know that a person can have natural weight fluctuations however I'm claiming this lol)

And what had I done between weigh ins? I ate, ate, ate.

I am finally starting to get things right :). However of course always striving to improve.

The training session that followed was tough. (who does four sets of machine squats???) however with the scale now moving in the desired direction my focus was strong (if not my form all the time ....)

We have now set my goal for this week and my biggest challenge is going to be this weekend in Melbourne. However as I sit here with my huge fruit salad with smoked salmon, I'm feeling confident :)




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's 8:45am it must be time to eat

At the moment my life revolves around food....... but that's a good thing.

With some encouragement from Josh my goals for this program actually increased a little and I now have a weight goal that I want to achieve. Pretty much anyone who knows me knows that my biggest blockers have always come down to nutrition so in order to achieve these goals I really needed to do something in that area.

So with Josh's help I have tweaked my nutrition with quite startling results. I'm actually getting up and having breakfast, even getting up and eating (a small amount) before Blitz.

Before this week I was averaging 5 meals a day and not getting enough vegies in.

My plan was to consistently have 6 meals. Over the last two days, due to work and training commitments I needed to tweak my times which resulted in eating 7 meals a day. In addition to increased frequency I am definitely getting a lot more vegies/plant matter in each and every meal. I also have my protein amounts sorted.

The result of increasing my frequency and amount of food? The numbers don't lie.... The needle on the scale is making definite moves downwards!!! :)

When I jumped on the scales yesterday ("just to see") you should have seen the smile on my face as the scales showed a number I haven't seen in 6-7 years!

The one thing with eating every couple of hours ..... I'm actually hungry every two hours! I've turned into an eating machine. So lock up your chicken and roast vegetables and your salmon with salad because if I'm around, it's likely to disappear ;)

The stray lamb returns...........

Forgive me, it's been six weeks since my last confession... I mean blog.

In all honesty it has been a while since I last blogged my journey to the best version of me, however as I told someone the other day... I kind of lost my mojo there for a little while.

A combination of illness, work and emotional stresses saw me stray off the path quite a bit.  My nutrition suffered as comfort foods snuck in and I know that although my strength and fitness (I hope) improved not much happened in the way of body composition.  And I take full responsibility for that.

So here I am again at the start of a fresh 12 week program and I had a friend ask me yesterday what my goals were and what was my focus.  I will re-post them here:

• I will happily wear size 12 clothes in public
• I will fit into a size 10 (fit, not necessarily wear lol)
• I will be able to jog/run for 5kms without slowing to a walk
• I will drink more water
• I will not deviate from the nutritional path

Couple of extra restrictions I am placing on myself ...

• no bread for the next 12 weeks (I have a wheat intolerance and since I have been eating bread it is causing some health issues)
• no chocolate for 12 weeks (not including chocolate protein hehe)

Part of my refocusing has come from me understanding a few things better and accepting what I can and cannot change. Although it may sound selfish, these next twelve weeks I am going to place my focus wholly on myself.  I know the Clare that I want to see at the end of these twelve weeks.  She has eluded me so far, however I'm determined to use my new improved fitness to chase her down, grab hold and finally get her.

These next twelve weeks are also going to place some interesting challenges in front of me (birthdays, travels etc) however as has been proven by a very good friend, doesn't matter what the obstacle is it is possible to get through.

In closing I want to say thank you to those who have supported me, encouraged me and got me to where I am so far.   So thank you Simon, Treena, Tina, Vicki, Tim and all the Blitz 'family' and of course, thank you Josh Dickinson and the team at Physique Essentials.  When I first walked into Josh's studio eighteen months ago I would never have thought I would be saying I'm entering the City2Surf in Sydney in 6 weeks time!

So here we go again......... stay tuned ;)

So very very close.......

This week has been an interesting and positive week.  After reaffirming my goals earlier in the week I decided to push stronger and harder than ever before.

My nutrition remained on track and I was feeling stronger in resistance training.  (except for a little stumble during the lunges... oops).  When Saturday rolled around we were greeted with one of my favourite Blitz sessions, Death by Zigzag.  (Shhhhh - please don't tell anyone I actually like them).  Essentially what happens is quite simple.... find a hill, and run up and down the hill in a zigzag fashion.  Now I say it is my favourite however I am in no way Queen of the Hill.  I find it tough however I continue to try to push just a little harder and have little mini goals.

Saturday afternoon, inspired by Treena's change room story, I decided to do a little experiment.  I wanted to see how far away I was from getting a paid of size 12 work pants on.  I grabbed a pair, held my head high and went into the change room.  I pull those pants up, went to hold the two sides of the top of the pants at least close to see how far I had to go and....... they did up!!!! Now don't get me wrong, you will not be seeing me in size 12 pants this week (Noone wants to see that yet believe me!) however I was amazed that I could do them up.  This from a girl would was essentially three sizes bigger before training with Josh.  So I smiled as I came out of the change room, hung the pants back up knowing I would be back.

Now some of you may have been following my progress towards a great nutrition week, one where I have 6 meals a day with protein, essentials fats and the right types of carbs.  My journey has actually been a little easier than I thought it would be, as I have struggled so many times before.  It has been helped with support, chocolate protein (I have managed to stay away, and not crave, the chocolates at work) and just pure determination. 

Six days down, everything great and then...... this morning I woke up with Gastro.  It was something that is going around at the moment and I genuinely thought I had been able to miss getting it however no.  I tried to eat the veggie omelette this morning and had to quickly change to protein shake and apple, through the morning I was able to eat once more.  Then I promptly fell asleep for 3 hours.  On waking I have been able to have more apple, protein and diet ginger ale. 

This isn't a woe is me part of anything, just frustrating.  I was one day away from a great week (first one EVER). However you know what?  I have 6 weeks of this program to go and now I have proven to myself that it is possible.  So I will still have my perfect week.  Next week I actually plan to up the ante and have even better choices in each meal.

So here is looking forward.

Take care and catch you next time :)

What a difference a week makes

Around this time last week I was ready to implode.

However here I sit a week later with a brand new outlook on life.

After I returned from Sydney, where I indulged in a little chocolate and a LOT of vodka I was determined to have a great week nutritionally.

Additionally on Tuesday, during my session with Josh we spoke about my goals and reaffirmed where I was and where I wanted to be. The refocussing has really helped in strengthening my goals.

I know for the last 6 months my attitude has really been close enough is good enough. Half a block of chocolate won't matter, I'm not gain a LOT of weight, my new clothes still fit.... Kinda.

Well close enough is no longer good enough.

My birthday is at the end of July and by then I'm going to be a smoking hot size 12. Just you watch me!!

One day, Two days, Three days...... Four?

After a lack lustre start to the week, I managed to get through three nutritionally perfect days (thanks in no small part to Simon). 

This included the Annual Trivia night I ran for work.  I trained in the studio from 5pm - 6pm and then raced home to pick up Simon so that we could head back to Wodonga for the set up of the night.  Simon had prepared for me a chicken stir fry with brown rice and accompanied it with a couple of fish oil capsules.  We grabbed everything, set up the night and then sat down to eat.  (Additionally for the first time every I drank no alcohol during the night.  I was determined to stick to my goals)

Training wise, I think I've being doing pretty well.  I have an annoying foot injury at the moment.  Not 100% sure what is wrong however I think it dates back to the Nail Can Hill Run and a particularly uneven section of the run.  It is an ache in the top of my foot that comes and goes and moves as well.  However luckily I was able to still do lunges (did I just say luckily and lunges in the same sentence???) and everything else seemed fine.  I seem to be able to run on it as well.

So with Trivia Night done and dusted, I awoke the next morning ready for the next event in my busy weekend.

The Physique Essentials team were running the Pushups for Charity event in Albury-Wodonga to raise fund for the local branch of the Make a Wish Foundation.  The premise is that each participant is sponsored per pushup up and they see how many they can do in 90 seconds.  We split into two groups with one person counting and one doing the pushups.  After my counting stint it was my turn.

I had estimated I could do 60 pushups and I had one sponsor who pledged $3 per pushup and a $40 bonus if a got the 60 pushups, so I was determined to reach it.  3....2....1.....GO!

I started well, managing one push up a second for the first 30 seconds and then I slowed a little but still managed to keep going.  Then it got difficult.  I had an idea how many I had done and I was determined to get to 60.... I can do this, I can do this...... then I lost count.  I had no idea how many I did.  5,4,3,2,1... stop.
I looked up at the counter and she asked if I knew how many and I just shook my head......."67".  I did it!!

So a quick shout out to Kara for her generous donation, as well as the entire Physique Essentials team who did brilliantly.

After a quick BBQ I had to shoot off for the next part of my weekend.  So far nutritionally I did well.  Everything was on track and looking good (apart from the couple of sausages).  I was now off to surprise my mum for Mother's Day.  Simon dropped my off at the airport and I had packed my protein and shaker, thinking I could at least have a shake on the drive up the mountains.  When I landed however I forgot one simple thing.  To get water.  So from that point nutrition hasn't been that great (I even gave in after 5 chocolate free days.....:S) . 

However that was just one day, I'm now back on plan and intend to try to maintain throughout the day now.
The great thing though was I did successfully surprise my Mum by turning up unannounced on her doorstep.  She is my Mum and my friend and I wish we lived closer so it was nice being able to be up here for Mothers' Day.

Happy Mothers' Day to all :)

Out of the ashes....

The start of this week was... a challenge ... to say the least.

We started the week off with a particularly tough session at Blitz.  Now don't get me wrong it was a brilliant session however as my legs were still tender after Nail Can on Sunday all the squats were a little difficult lol.

From that point though my day just seemed to plummet. I initially put it down to a post Nail Can Hill adrenalin crash however I knew there was more.  Some things I could put my finger on others I couldn't.  You know 'just one of those days'.

I can usually shake those off however the feeling continued for the next couple of days.

Wednesday ended up being particular difficult.  With feelings of being overwhelmed, angry and disappointed about some things and I had an overarching sense of, for the lack of a better word, sadness.  (Someone actually said I had lost my mojo).

Now I'm not writing this in any way for sympathy, really it is just a back ground to what came next.

As many would know, over the last few weeks the part I have struggled most with is getting back on track nutritionally.  This week, despite everything I was determined to do well.  So when Wednesday rolled around I was two days into the week without being able to tick either day off. From a training point of view I personal feel I did quite well.  Weights increased on Tuesday and I pushed hard at Blitz on Wednesday morning.  And with that strong start to the day with Blitz I wanted to get through a 'perfect day'.

I started off well and I was prepared with shakes and fruit and all the good things in life.  However, my mind really wasn't on the job.  There were times throughout the day where those fundraising chocolates and vending machines at work were calling my name and on many occasions I almost gave in.  However I had a secret and powerful weapon... support.

Simon kept me strong all day.  He knew the mood I was in and also knew how that mood could turn against me and I could self sabotage my nutrition (which in itself could derail me further).  So Simon kept encouraging me and supporting me and telling me I could do it.  And I have to tell you, it really helped.  My mood still wasn't great however I was keeping to plan regardless of the siren call of the chocolaty goodness.

As the day went on I clawed my way out of the depths of whatever had a hold of me and by the end of the day I was back to being me.  I had regained my mojo so to speak.  Simon supported and encouraged me right through to my sixth meal and I did it!  A perfect day.

The main thing I learnt through this is that although it may be true that all eating is emotional, with the right choices, determination and support you can combat the draw that emotional eating can have.  I wanted to turn to comfort food, however I didn't.  In a sense, keeping to plan and doing the things that are good for me also helped me feel better generally.

It also proved that with the right support you really can achieve your goals.  So always turn to those who you know understand your goals and are willing to help you towards them.  If someone isn't helping you or even so far as trying to sabotage them, turn to someone else.  Someone will ALWAYS be willing to stand by your side and encourage you.

I now write this at the end of another perfect day (2 in a row - can you believe it??) and you know what I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself. :)

So as you can see, this wasn't about how I was feeling, rather what is capable despite the factors that can bring you down.

I promise my next blog with be a little more upbeat ;).

Take care, stay strong and know that you can achieve your goals