Run, run, stumble, correct, back on track

Last week was a weird and non productive week.  I derailed myself a little particularly when it came to the all important nutrition. (missed meals, not bad but not stellar choices etc)

However that was then and this is now.  One of the important things I have learnt through my training with Josh at Physique Essentials and the MP program is to truly understand why you stumbled.  Then simply pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get right back on track.

In the past, I would have spiraled into the abyss with no seemingly obvious way of coming out however that girl just simply isn't me any more.

As I said in a recent blog, I'm currently obsessed with numbers however I'm also obsessed with how my body feels.  Firstly from a performance and health point of view.  I know I am more attuned to my body and what it needs and wants (not necessarily the same thing... believe me lol).  The main thing is I know when I haven't been eating properly because my body tells me through lethargy, lack of satisfactory performance in the gym or a general feeling of blah (yep technical term right there)

Secondly, it is how my body physically feels.  I spend each and every day feeling myself up........ um, wait...... what I mean is I have started to be conscious of the bumps and flats (good and bad).  I now more aware of the fact I can feel a tricep and bicep and calves have bumps where I didn't think it was possible lol.  I'm also feeling the softness.  This is going to sound strange as there is a little less softness than there used to be however I now have a greater sense of there being MORE softness.  Perhaps it is simply because I'm more desirous of that softness going away forever now.  So now when the jiggly bits jiggle it reaffirms my resolve and encourages me to stay on track.

So after a less than great week, this week I intend to work harder and be more accountable because I have huge goals and damn it I AM going to achieve them! :)


Sometimes the littlest things can help put you on the right track. This morning Josh sent me an email that put my before photo (check back a couple of entries) alongside a photo of me taken Saturday, and I have to say it made me smile :).  It helped kick off the week.  Thank you Josh.

This was the photo from Saturday.

Emotional Food

Ok so perhaps the food isn't emotional however eating is.

The funny thing is that although I'm an emotional eater (as we all are), I'm also an emotional non-eater.

When I am truly upset about something, so much so that the feeling sits in the base of my stomach I find I just can't eat.

That was where I was at today. This morning I managed a shake, and not even a complete meal shake just simply protein and water. Then as I was having an extremely ordinary day I didn't managed to eat a solid meal until 1:30pm. Now considering that I had been awake since 5am that was very bad.

And the missed meals became very evident at my training session. Most weights went backwards or simply stalled. I tried to use my anger and frustration to push out more however the lack of fuel meant an extremely lack lustre performance. And I know I'm better than that!!!

So tomorrow I need to pick my self up, brush myself off and get my head back in the game.

As someone said to me today - nothing can stop you if you don't let it.

So tomorrow is a new day and a new outlook. I have goals and nothing is going to stop me achieving them.

Obsession.....

Obsessed is a strong word however I have been known to be obsessive in relation to a number of things including food. Food being a really big thing.

However something I have obsessed about in the past has come back to haunt me........ Numbers. In particular numbers on the scales.

When I was at my heaviest I obsessed about getting under a certain number. Every time I was on a diet I would jump on the scales 3,4,5 times a day. I'd celebrate when the number went down and go into a downward spiral when the number went up.

When I started training with Josh I stopped myself from getting on the scales apart from weigh ins with Josh. It took a bit of control but I did it.

I don't actually own scales any more because I just didn't need them. Last year I hovered within a 5kg range all year and I still didn't have the compulsion to jump on the scales.

However this year I saw a number on the scales I haven't seen in close to a decade and now I'm obsessed.

Although I don't own scales, every time I'm near scales now I want to jump on "just to check". Common sense tells me that is idiotic. Weight fluctuates throughout the day and (girls you know what I'm talking about here) can certainly fluctuate throughout the month. I know I shouldn't be jumping on the scales however I am truly obsessed by it now.

It's funny a few people reading this might start thinking that I will do absolutely anything now to ensure that number doesn't go up........... and they are right!!

You see I'm also obsessed about eating..... ensuring I eat the right things at the right times when my body needs it.

In the past I've skipped meals, eaten just cabbage soup, coffee and cigarettes in order to lose weight and it just doesn't work.

At the start I said I'm obsessed about food, you betcha!!! I eat to get lean.

However this week my goal is clear........ I want to stay off all scales all week long. I want to be surprised when in 4 weeks I reach the half way point of the program, jump on the scales and have reached my 6 week goal.

So I'm staying away from all scales, and if any of you see me inching towards those scales please......... Hit me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and firmly say "No!". I'll get the message.

Til next time..... Stay strong and reach for your goals. You WILL achieve them

Here we go again.......

The title of this post actually sounds a little negative how in reality it's not.  Let's back track a little......

In October 2009 I first walked into the Physique Essentials centre of operation and met this man named Josh Dickinson......

Ok maybe we don't have to back track THAT far.  Suffice it to say that I have been training with Josh for over two years now.  And in that time I have had some awesome results and certainly am not the person I was.

In 2010 I did 2 Metabolic Precision Programs with Josh and did well however in 2011 I will admit I coasted a little.  I still trained (ok perhaps not as hard as I could have) but slowly I fell off the nutrition wagon so the results I had over the year were in no way stellar.

However it is now 2012 and by jove things are going to change (first I think I need new phrases...).  I am now embarking on another MP program and I couldn't be more excited!

MP works!  It really does.  For example, although I fell off the wagon from a nutrition point of view, I didn't do the downward food spiral I previously had.  I had a better idea of what I should be doing and acknowlegded where I was stuffing up.  Because of the training and education I recieved,  I still lost weight! (although I can just imagine what the results COULD have been)  I started this year and this program seeing a number on the scales that I hadn't seen in nearly a decade (should have see my happy look of shock).

I am now the most committed I have ever been.  I have some huge goals for not only this 12 weeks but for this year.  Next year I'm 40 and I'm going to enter 40 more Fit, Firm and Fabulous  than I was at 20!

However if Josh keeps doing things like this to me.....

The first trick might be simply to survive until I'm 40!

Honestly though, I have stuck with Josh and PE for one simply reason.  I am NOT the person I was when I walked in and met him in 2009.  Not just through body composition changes but fitness and health and so so many other ways. What Josh and the PE Team do works (as long as you take the PE advice on board and apply it :) )

Anyway, I will be blogging regularly so keep checking in... even if it is just to make sure I'm still alive.